How to find people with shared interests online

“People who like the same things” can mean very different things: a friend to talk to every day, someone to practice a skill with, or locals to meet up with. Decide which one you're after, because each tends to happen in a different kind of space.

Apps that suggest people and posts based on your interests are doing social discovery. They are useful for finding the first few spaces and people. The friendships themselves still come from what you do after that.

• Search “film photography” or “35mm,” not “photography.” Narrow terms lead to smaller spaces where people notice each other.
• Browse hashtags for your niche and note which names keep showing up. Those are the regulars worth following.
• Look for groups with recent activity rather than big member counts. A post from yesterday matters more than ten thousand members.
• Check the rules or description. A group that says what it's for is usually one that's looked after.
• Try two or three spaces for a couple of weeks each, then keep the one where you felt most at home.

1. 1

   Read for a few days

   Get a feel for the tone, the in-jokes and what kind of posts get replies. Every group has its own norms.

2. 2

   Answer before you ask

   Reply helpfully to a beginner's question or add something useful to a thread. It's the fastest way to be recognized as someone worth talking to.

3. 3

   Post something of your own

   Share what you're working on, reading or trying. Specific posts (“my first sourdough, too dense, what went wrong?”) get far more replies than general ones.

4. 4

   Reply to the same people more than once

   Recognition builds through repetition. By the third friendly exchange, you're not a stranger any more.

5. 5

   Join the smaller space

   When a group offers a chat, a call or a meetup, go. That's where acquaintances become friends.

The jump from public replies to a private direct message is where many people freeze. Make it easy by picking up something you've already talked about and giving the other person an easy, specific reason to reply.

• “You mentioned you're reading the second book in that series. I just finished it; did the ending annoy you as much as it annoyed me?”
• “Your bread photos convinced me to try a starter. Any chance you'd share the flour you use?”
• “A few of us from the club are doing a call on Thursday to practice for the certification. Want to join?”

Group invitations are often easier than one-to-one messages because there's less pressure on both sides. If someone doesn't reply, let it go. People are busy, and a missed message is rarely personal.

• Keep your phone number, home address, daily routine and workplace to yourself until you've known someone for a while.
• Be wary of anyone who pushes to move the conversation to another app quickly, asks for money, or asks for photos.
• Use block, mute and report when something feels wrong. You don't owe anyone an explanation.
• Check your privacy settings so you know who can see your posts and profile. Our guide on protecting your privacy on social media covers the settings worth checking.

Moving city for study or work is one of the most common reasons people go looking for new friends online, and it's also when online spaces are most useful, because they can lead to people you can actually meet. Combine your interest with your location: search for your hobby plus your city or neighborhood, and look for groups that meet in person as well as online.

• Pick one regular, in-person activity from an online group and commit to going three times before you decide whether it's for you.
• Say you're new. “Just moved here, looking for people to play badminton with” gets warmer replies than a generic hello.
• Offer something: a spare seat on a trip, help with a skill you have, or starting the group chat everyone keeps saying someone should start.

It's normal for the first few weeks to feel like talking into a void. Groups notice newcomers only after they've seen them a few times. People who give up in week two often would have been regulars by week five.

What helps most is consistency over volume. Posting a thoughtful reply three times a week in one group does more than posting daily across ten. Showing up to a group call, even quietly, does more than a dozen likes.

• Joining twenty groups and being a stranger in all of them.
• Only posting about yourself and never replying to others.
• Sending a long, intense first message to someone you've never spoken to.
• Treating follower counts as friendship. A handful of people who reply is worth more.
• Giving up after one quiet week.

When you sign up, Asyncbit asks you to pick interests from a list of topics. The Explore tab then shows posts from people you don't follow yet, trending hashtags, and people suggestions based on shared interests, mutual follows, activity and more. You can search for people by name (there are no usernames), for posts and for hashtags, and each hashtag has its own page of recent posts.

For something more focused, join a club around your interest, or answer questions on the Q&A board. One-to-one chats open once you and the other person follow each other, so a mutual follow is the natural step from replies to a private conversation. If there's no club for your interest yet, see how to start an interest club.